Hope...

Over the weekend we went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk to celebrate Tashie's birthday. It was a great time of community and reaching out and sharing with others. Cameron was terrified of the beach when we first got there. I wasnt exactly sure why because we had been to a beach before, but maybe it was so long ago he didnt remember. After about 10 minutes he warmed up to it and enjoyed building sand castles. He even went in the water with Andrew! Cameron loved watching all of the action with the rides and he even went on the LOG RIDE with all of us! He barely cleared the 34" height restriction!! :) He enjoyed it! Later in the day he saw a kids helicoptor ride he wanted to go on so badly. BUT, when he got on it.... he was so scared!















Sunday I got a text message from a friend who felt she was being nudged to try church out. Praise God! She never grew up with any religion in her household so its so rad to see her interest in it. It was cool that the sermon was about truth.

Last night was awful. I think I really and truly experienced a demonic attack. I think I experienced one several months ago, but didnt know what it was. It's so hard to explain. I can barely describe it. I felt like something was trying to get inside me. I felt like I couldn't breathe.... I was shaking and sweating.... I kept waking up feeling like I was dying. It was so scary. I am almost afraid to go to bed tonight! I emailed Tony about it and he said that is actually pretty common and that I should shout out scripture. If you guys could all pray for that though. Sorry if that sounded weird or freaked you out.

Blogging is sharing though right? haha

Today has been pretty cool. I don't usually carry my bible with me. I usually leave it at my house, but for some reason this morning I saw it and put it in my purse. This afternoon I got a phone call from a friend who just found out she was pregnant. My heart breaks for her because she is only 22 and the guy is pushing abortion. After I got off the phone a bible verse came to mind that I clung to when I had found out I was pregnant at the age of 17! (almost 18 if that makes things better... well it still doesnt, but anyways...) but I couldnt remember where it was in the bible so I called Tony and sure enough he had it. God knew I needed my bible today and thats why He had me put it in my purse. Crazy huh? So, as I wrote down two pieces of scripture for her, I realized that these versus I could find fulfilling too. Maybe they just so happened to be what I also needed to hear.

Psalm 139: 11 - 16

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Jeremiah 29: 11 - 13

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will sek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.

So cool to look at it and see how it can be awesome for an unborn child, or for us. God is hope. I am constantly reminded that God knows my future. He loves me, and He wants my future to be great and abundant just as he wants the same for a growing little child inside of a mothers womb. He loves us all.

God is good.... I am always up for those random reminders! :)

Pray for that little baby and my friend. That God is truth and that my friend will choose to carry this baby to term without being pressured by outside influences! IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

Thankful for Community

I am so grateful for the people God has placed in my life....

I just want to share that.

Community is wonderful. I have so many people to thank for coming around me and loving on me.

A couple weeks ago the Lawson family blessed me with a safeway giftcard, and then just this Sunday, a few people from the young adults community blessed me with a beautiful card full of handwritten notes and $200 in food giftcards :)

Thank You to everyone who prays for Cameron and myself and loves us!

breakaway

First of all.... GO SHARKS! What an awesome win that was tonight.

Ok, so over the last couple weeks I have been forced to really breakdown and look at myself and who I really am. And, who I really am, is not who I really want to be. If that makes any sense. It's been a very difficult thing to realize but I have had to humble myself and admit that what I had been doing, how I had been acting, how I had been spending my time, etc., was not ok, and definitely not what God would have wanted from me. Once again, I have failed, but I LOVE knowing that God is so full of forgiveness and Grace.

I decided today to only listen to "Christian" music.... maybe I was being a little extreme! But, I pulled out an old cd I had bought at Hume Lake in 2004 I think. The band was "Our Hearts Hero." Seriously, every song I heard I felt I was being tugged at and I just broke down. If I could I would post every songs lyrics on here... but that might be a little overboard (I actually thought about it though, and the only reason I am not doing it, is because they don't have a lot of their lyrics on the internet!!) But, here is one of their songs called Breakaway

:)

Call it chance or destiny

Coincidental faith, why can't I know

Every step I'll ever take

Every corner of this winding road



All that lies in front of me

You hold the way

And I am in the middle

Theres no fear to be afraid

You're all that I need

(You're all that I need)



Breakaway

This empty space

Bring me back to You

Over and over again

Open eyes to see your face

Bring me back to You

Over and over



You're my only destiny

You're the only hope that my heart knows

You gave it all because of me

Everything I am to you, I owe



All that lies in front of me

You hold the way

And I am in the middle

Theres no fear to be afraid

You're all that I need

(You're all that I need)



Breakaway

This empty space

Bring me back to You

Over and over again

Open eyes to see your face

Bring me back to You

Over and over



Over and over

Take this place

Over and over

Fill this space

Over and over

With open eyes, as I find your face



Breakaway

This empty space

Bring me back to You

Over and over again

Open eyes to see your face

Bring me back to You

Over and over

:)

The song reminds me that God has a plan and purpose and path for me to follow. And HE really does want the best for me. I just need to listen to him instead of trying to problem solve myself. I am constantly reminded that even when we stray away, he calls us back. He pursues us. I love that.

Tonight I was going through my "Promises, Promises, Promises" book and I decided to flip randomly to three different verses and write them down. Funny thing was.... All three are so perfect right now. So perfect I thought I would share them with you too. I have both the message version and the NIV version

Luke 6:37-38
"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Givve away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back - given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." (message)

"Do no judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use it, it will be measured to you.: (NIV)

Philippians 1:29
There's far more to life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as trusting. (message)

For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him. Since you are going through th same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. (NIV)

Psalm 25:8
GOD is fair and just; He corrects the misdirected, sends them in the right direction. (message)

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. (NIV)

Well, if you made it to the end of this blog, then I am quite impressed. I still don't know how to blog and feel like I am just rambling.

Isn't God a beautiful creator?

I made a blogspot!!

so... I have never done this before. I have never blogged. I have never written down my thoughts, feelings, lessons, or whatever else people write on these things... but I think its time. It is time for me to share my life. To share my ups, my downs, my successes, my downfalls, my joys, and my heartbreaks. So, if anyone has advice, or even knows how to work this thing, please share because I am clueless!! :)